The Bodily Function Rules of Dating
One of the least popular dating topics that I’ve heard from my single friends (as well as the ones who are “taken” but recall dating, fondly or otherwise) is the subject of bodily fluids. I don’t mean whether or not to use a condom; that’s a pretty big topic that should be discussed pretty early on, especially before having sex. But the whole idea of peeing, picking one’s nose, farting, and engaging in other behaviors that we all do but don’t do in front of our dates can really hit a nerve with some people!
I have been married for five years, though my husband and I have been together for over a decade longer than that, and I’m still uncomfortable doing, well, bathroom duties in front of him. He rolls his eyes when I squeal “Gross!” at one of his frequent smelly emissions while I retrain mine, when possible, for the bathroom. Of course, sometimes my disgusted outburst makes him laugh, like that one time he did it at Blockbuster and both he and the attendant had a fine time guffawing over my expressive repulsion.
My best friend, however, has no shame when it comes to peeing or farting in front of her husband. She even goes to the bathroom with the door open, something that I could never do (unless it’s my daughter and me home alone and I’m listening for her while I go, which I have been known to do). Some things just need to be kept private is my philosophy, but if other people are comfortable with it, I don’t have a problem with it.
That said, when is it okay to do these things—if at all—in front of your date or new love interest? My friend says right away, but she’s got a confidence that many women don’t have. A single friend says after you’ve slept together, which sort of makes sense, I suppose; you’ve exchanged body fluids already, after all, so you it’s not like your flatulence is about to make you any more or less intimate. Then again, if you haven’t been exposed to one’s gas—or you are opposed to it due to rudeness or other qualms—should you be sleeping together in the first place just yet?
The jury is still out when it comes to such disclosures, since every person I spoke with had a different response. I suppose it would just have to depend upon you and your date, unless you already keep an unspoken rule about these things—and if you do, feel free to share it in the comments or your own post.
Until then, I would recommend one-cheek sneaks behind unsuspecting fellow patrons on whom to blame at whatever establishment you are visiting for now, just to be sure.